Broken, Discouraged, Exhausted, Journey, Life, Trials, Update, Weariness

The Life of My Daughter and Her Migraines and Cold

design-87I am writing to update my faithful followers on Kiddo’s painfully sick week.

Thankfully today I can finally see the signs of the antibiotics working to fight against her cold. It is nice to see her not struggling to breathe through all of the chest congestion and relentless coughing.

As for the migraine she couldn’t get managed, the steroids did the job. They broke this migraine cycle, thankfully. She still has her daily headaches, but those she can manage. It was this past intense and mega migraine she couldn’t handle or manage.

I truly appreciate your prayers. She was in tough shape for the past few weeks and I am praying she will get some much-needed relief and rest over the next week. Thankfully she works at a school and because of Easter, they are off for the week.

I do ask however, you continue to keep her in your prayers because her steroids finish tomorrow and she is concerned with the headaches she still has that the steroids will not continue to work. Please pray the headaches will just go away and she will be okay until she goes to her next neurology appointment.

I write about this because to watch her struggle like she does causes me to worry a lot over her. It is hard to see her go through all she goes through. Unfortunately, it is not with the just illnesses, but it comes with some of the nursing staff as well. When times like these happen and her body wages war against itself, the only solution for relief comes in the form of medical intervention, but to seek this intervention comes at the cost of lectures about seeking medication for which she is not doing.

What would you do as a parent if you saw your child post this on Facebook?

“This sums up the past couple weeks and I’m so tired of doctors and nurses!!!! The nurse today told me, after I got done telling her all my symptoms, that since I got up out of bed today I couldn’t possibly feel as badly as I said I did 🤦🏻‍♀️. People, if I didn’t get out of bed I wouldn’t have a life!! Just treat me! How long do I have to be miserable before someone decides enough is enough. I’m not lying, I’m not trying to get drugs, I’m not trying to get attention. If I could live my life without all these health problems, that would be great, but until then just give me the help I need and quit giving me a hard time about it.”

As for me, I know it happened. I was there every time it did, but there is something about seeing the pain in writing. She isn’t a public person and she is not a person who posts a lot on Facebook so for her to do this, it was really upsetting to her.

Now, how about this she just told me just tonight?

” I am so tired of being sick and drugged up to live without pain. I think I slept the month of March away because somehow I have missed that month. I feel like I am not even living my life, I feel like I am just existing.”

Another statement I know she feels, but there is something about verbalizing it that just breaks my heart. Now, keep in mind, she has no idea I am sitting here writing. She has no idea I am trying to process my own thoughts about her being so sick and in so much pain for so long. It is completely coincidental that conversation happened.

I am not sure what her future holds and why she has to struggle so much. I just plead with God that He has a reason for it all and that she does not have to go through it without a benefit or reward of some sort. The testimony she will have at the end will be amazing. It is my hope and prayer this road she travels will be one where she is able to help others get through their medical journey.

Until then, it is my prayer God continues to give her the strength to endure it all because it is a lot. It is also my prayer God protects her body and her mind from all of the effects of pain, illnesses, and medication she goes through. Feel free to join me in praying over all of this as well. I would be appreciative of the additional prayers.

Thank you for being patient as I use my blog as a platform to write about what it is like to be her mom and go through this journey with her. It is a lot to carry, but being able to write about it gives me the ability to release some of my own emotions so I can be strong for when she needs me the most.

Christmas, Decorating, Holiday, Journey, Life, Trust

Beauty Can Be Misleading

Processing Through Sickness

I am sitting here tonight with a heavy heart. My daughter only had one Christmas request this year and that was to put up our big jumbo Christmas tree that we have had since the year she was born. She loves this tree and has missed it because we adopted our precious baby boy, 2 1/2 years ago and haven’t put it up because of him being a puppy. His name is Shadow and he is a large German Shepard. Anyone who follows my blog will see him randomly via my Instagram pictures. He might even be there right now since he was playing with our cat around the tree this afternoon.

67B51D11-8494-4A0C-BA37-69F13B92DC2EI honored her only request yesterday by putting up the tree. She helped me, which was a lot since she has an air cast boot on one of her feet because she is having surgery the week before Christmas. Her poor foot hurt so badly last night that I thought we had messed it up even more, but no, she wakes up this morning with her foot okay, but extremely sick instead.

As the day progressed on and I watched her struggle with not feeling good, I kept pondering what could be wrong?

Allergies, nooooo, this is her severe allergies to the dust of putting up the Christmas tree yesterday. Oh no, now what?

As we sat in our living room last night admiring the fruits of our labor and admiring the beauty of this large tree, I had no idea it was going to make her physically ill today.

Now, as I pass through my living room and see it all lite up in it’s beauty I cringe at what I have done to my child. How can something so beautiful and is meant to provide such joy and happiness cause so much pain and sickness, really?

As I sit here tonight I am still pondering what to do. I think I will wait a day or so and see if her body adjusts to it or not and then determine if I am going to have to take this tree back down.

It just truly breaks my momma heart to watch her struggle through so much stuff that an average healthy person doesn’t give a second thought.

When I agreed to put this tree up I was reluctant because it is so big and a lot of work. I never dreamt once we got it up that it would make Kiddo sick, literally. Who knew?

With only one more day of Thanksgiving break, I am praying she feels better tomorrow. If you feel inclined to join me in praying for her, I would be greatly appreciative.

Christmas is a season that is meant to be a joyous time with twinkling lights, the sound of Christmas music in the air, and the fragrance of baked goods and cookies in the air.

It isn’t meant to be a season where you battle your body with out of control allergies, sickness, and pain. She battles with this mess all through the year. I just wanted her to have a time where this didn’t happen because of something I am doing to make her life happy and memorable.

Memorable, what a choice of words. I didn’t expect it to turn into a bad thing. I have to figure out how to turn this around. How do I make this a good season without contributing to her sickness and allergies?

It is time to think outside of the box now. If it means putting away the tree, it does. I thankfully don’t believe I will have to put everything away. So we will still have some decorations up which will make her happy.

Please join me in prayer over how to keep my Kiddo healthy and free from debilitating allergies and migraines throughout out this Christmas season.

*Disclaimer, this post was written from the heart of a weary mom tonight. If God uses it to richly bless or encourage someone, then I will be very happy that my difficult journey with a sickly child won’t be for nothing.

If someone can benefit from our struggles, then God, we will go through this difficult time knowing You have a plan and a purpose for all of this. Touch someone tonight and encourage them they are not alone. Show them there are others who know the pain and weariness and let them know that You are still and remain in constant control. Hold them up tonight in Your arms providing them with a peace and comfort that only you can give.

In Your Precious Name, Amen 

Comfort, Journey, Strength

Hope Sees The Weary Through

It is my desire and prayer that this will touch your heart and God will encourage you today.

I don’t know what your struggles are or what you are going through, but I do know God sees your every move and your every difficulty. You are never alone,  no matter how light or dark your life may be.

I had already begun writing on this topic and something went wrong because when I returned to finish it I found it missing. I am going to take this as a sign that what I have on my heart is meant to touch someone out there.  The enemy is working hard to prevent you from reading the encouraging words God has for you to hear.

I am not sure what your struggles might be. You have to fill in the _______ blank as to what you might be going through in life.

Are any of these possible areas you are struggling with…

  • Do you have an invisible or chronic illness? Is it one you struggle with daily, but no one can see, therefore to outsiders they don’t see your what you go through?  Does it affect every aspect of your life; your personal and professional life? Do you have a hard time maintaining relationships with family and friends, because they don’t understand the struggles you battle with over your health issues? This is a hard life to maintain.

 

  • Do you struggle with a visible illness such as a disease or cancer? The chronic fatigue of both the visible and invisible illnesses leaves you drained, worn out and exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. These are real struggles that come with a high price.

 

  • Are you battling with the darkness of depression? Do the demons of depression alter your ability to think rationally and clearly? Is this darkness consuming your every thought making life nearly impossible to navigate on a daily basis?

 

  • Do you struggle with the horrible effects of PTSD? A good many of the same demons that play out with depression are visible here as well, however with PTSD you find your life often times debilitating. You loose yourself through the lies you harbor in your mind. Those lies rob you of family and friends because you are always pushing them away. You feel your life is consumed within itself and that no one truly understands what you are going through or what you have been through. The lies have taught you no one cares about you or loves you. These demons continue to cause chaos and havoc in your life and you lack the ability to fight back against it.

 

  • Do you find yourself at a hospital holding the hand of a close friend or a loved one whose life has been affected by a tragedy? You are trying to be strong to show them the courage they need to fight back against the injuries the accident left them afflicted with. Are the injuries ones that will affect your loved one for the rest of their life? This is a struggle that may be a short term struggle but one that is significant at this time?  It can be exhausting while going through it, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

  • Lastly, are you a caregiver of a loved one but are feeling weak and weary from the mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion? You wouldn’t have it any other way, but the drain you are experiencing is exhausting. You carry the weight of their illness. You are always thinking of a way to brighten their day, while you push through your own day. Most often times, you forget about yourself and don’t allow yourself the time to care for your needs. Self care??? What is that? I don’t have time for that. I must do this and this and this to help the person you are caring for. My friend, this is an honorable deed, but you have to remember yourself in the process. If you  take some time in the day to meet your physical, mental, or emotional needs, you will be able to maintain the rigorous needs and demands of being a caregiver.

IMG_1716 My friend, whether I have touched base with your struggle above or you are experiencing one I didn’t mention, know that each and everyone of them are equally important to the person going through them.

Each one can leave you feeling alone, fearful and discouraged.

I feel God wants me to tell you that all of those feelings are not of Him, they are all feelings the enemy places on us to make us feel helpless and empty. God has a bigger plan for times of hardships. He uses them for good. He can take any difficult situation and bring blessings to either the person going through it or will use your story to richly bless others.

I know right now it may seem like an eternity since you have been struggling, but God has a promise for each and everyone of you.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

God isn’t going to leave you during your hour of weakness. He is preparing a much bigger plan for you and it is one that will bless you at the end of your journey.

DesignMy friend, no matter what today looks like or how hard it was to get out of bed, do not be discouraged, your God has a mighty plan for you. Do not loose your focus because although it may feel like your life is an eternity, it is not. God is preparing a mighty future for you. Hang tight and know your God is preparing you for an amazing blessing and is preparing a testimony which He will use for his good

Ride the ride and let God have the steering wheel for He is in total control, you are not.  Many many hugs to each one of you who are struggling.

You got this Friend! You can do this. Cling to the “Hope” of a brighter future and know this time you are going through isn’t forever. That is God’s promise to us.