#Findingyourcourage, #Keepingitreal, Burn out, Discouraged, encouragement, Exhausted, Journey, Keeping It Real, Weariness

Life Is Real, The Struggles Are Too

Just throwing some real life out there….

So all before 7:45am I have the cleanest smelling house in my community.

I managed to discover my hot water heater is leaking right after I opened up a fresh new bottle of bleach. As I discovered some wet stuff on some things in my laundry room, I left my bleach sitting on my dryer and went to get a bowl to put under the leaky hot water heater (as it is a little guy who is elevated above my head). While I was getting my bowl I heard something fall. I returned to my laundry room (which is off our carpeted family room) to find my bleach on the carpet spilling out with 3/4 of it emptied on my carpet. 😪

Now I am totally frustrated as I was hurried to get a few things done before trying to get some work done before Kiddo has her 2nd of 5 appointments between today and tomorrow afternoon.

Now my carpet is ruined and I should get my shop vac to absorb the extra water spilling out of my hot water heater tray when all I wanted to do was get some work done.

Oh boy, turn the cheek… make lemonade out of lemons and move on. I hope God provides me a few extra hours out of my day today.

Now to try to fix my problems.

I decided to show the real and and the raw behind all the encouragement I post.

Life is a struggle and life is real.

If this resonates with you, know I am right there with ya friend.

I decided today to write about it and to share it with you with the hopes you will be encouraged knowing you are not alone with the struggles of life.

Make the best of your day!

#Findingyourcourage, Anxiety, Bible, Broken, Burn out, Challenge, Discouraged, encouragement, Inspiration, Journey, Weariness

Are Trials and Troubles at Every Turn?

Is life a struggle at every turn?

Are you weary from constantly making important decisions?

Are you exhausted from always putting out a fire?

My friend, rest on the promises God provides us,

“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”Isaiah 40:30-31 ESV”.

God does not expect us to always solve our problems or even carry them.

He wants us to turn to Him when we are weak and weary.

You’ve got this Friend! Rest today and give your problems to God. Allow Him to create your solutions.

Have a great day!

Burn out, Depression, Discouraged, encouragement, Inspiration, Journey, Life, Real, Strength, Weariness

Real Gets Lost In The Artificial

Just feeling….

  • Tired
  • Frustrated
  • Exhausted
  • Worn Out
  • Spent
  • Frazzled

Just wanting to…

  • Cry
  • Sleep
  • Eat your favorite comfort food
  • Take a hot shower
  • Read
  • Write
  • Take a trip
  • Escape from reality
  • Hang out with friends
  • Run away

Experience is reality…

  • Need to finish a project at work
  • Need to clean house
  • Need to get groceries
  • Need to wash laundry
  • Need to take care of the kids
  • Need to make supper
  • Need to study
  • Need to prepare for the new week

Does this sound like what you experience? Do not feel alone because your feelings are real.

This is what reality looks like and knowing this allows us to know when life gets messy it is okay because others know this experience as well.

In this day of “perfect ” social media, it is easy to loose track of what reality looks like because it gets lost in the rose colored lenses of our cameras and fancy captions we put with the images.

Anything can look good when you add fancy filters to your pictures and inauthentic captions to make them look and sound beautiful, but the “real” gets lost in the artificial .

When we look through Facebook and Instagram we can easily fall into a place where we see those images and lives as easy and “perfect” when in reality they are not. They are not because they are not “real”.

We live in the “real” and not in the “perfect”. Cling to your real and find peace in the difficult days while rejoicing during the good ones because they are there to rejuvenate and refresh you while preparing you for the difficult days when they arrive.

The reality is…

  • Life is real.
  • Life is messy.
  • Life is happy.
  • Life is difficult.
  • Life is exhilarating.
  • Life is devastating.
  • Life is joyous.
  • Life is exhausting.

Lastly, remember life is what you make of it. There are many days that are joyous while there are many that discouraging, but God gives us the strength to get through them all.

Broken, Burn out, Courage, Depression, Discouraged, encouragement, Encouragement Today, Exhausted, Inspiration, Journey, Life

The Struggle is Real

The Making of Lemon Squares

Has your week been a difficult one? Is your day starting out less than desirable?

My friend, know you are not alone. The struggle is real, as sadly as that may sound. There are many days that are not easy and just make you question yourself or decisions you have made, but I am here today to encourage you to know there are brighter days ahead.

Keep you head held high and know if you focus on what is in front of you and not on where you have come from, then you will be encouraged to know there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Remember today, you can get through everything you are struggling with because you are… strong enough, brave enough, bold enough, and beautiful (or handsome) enough.

You are… Enough!
Anxiety, Burn out, Challenge, Christmas, Christmas Note of Encouragement, Discouraged, encouragement, Holiday, Image, Inspiration, Journey, Life, Peace, Rest

Slow Down, Breathe, and Find Rest

Christmas Note of Encouragement

This is your gentle Christmas Reminder.

Find some time today to rest your mind, body and soul from the hustle and bustle of the crazy busy of the season. If you do, God will bless you with the time to get everything done.

Anxiety, Brave Art of Motherhood, Broken, Burn out, Discouraged, Exhausted, Journey, Life, Rawness, Stress, Trials

Changes Are Powerful

Revealing All Sides of Them

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

I am popping in to say I am still here. Last week ended up crazy busy because Kiddo stayed well enough for me to in fact paint the inside of my house while my husband was gone. I am so happy I did because I have a “real” confession to make, my house was filthy.

When I began to tear it apart to get into the crevasses and corners you do not see on a regular basis, I began to see stuff that made me cringe. It truly broke my heart because Kiddo is highly allergic to this kind of dust. It makes me wonder how much our own home was contributing to her sickness?

Well, it is clean, updated, and fresh again. As we were making these changes we were both excited because we like change. Change breathes life into whatever it is you are changing. It to us is not a bad thing because we love it, however, to my husband he was not impressed when he came home to my freshness and change.

He hates change, but I was to be able to paint and make over rooms in my house in the past. I suspected he was not happy this time though because when he came home from being away his silence was deafening. I was not able to get everything I wanted to be done because he was not gone long enough, so he did not see what I have envisioned yet. I was not able to get the trim painted or put up the special signs I am going to make. At this point, I have decided to wait on painting the trim as I think this will truly be too much change. He needs to sit on these changes for a while.

I have an immense “raw and real” confession to make, this rejection hurt me to my core. I do everything I do to keep our home running efficiently while both he and my daughter spend more time sick than they do well. I run them to their countless doctor appointments so I can stay on top of their health issues and so for me to do this because it made me feel good was beyond disheartening.

I got extremely upset Saturday night and had a complete meltdown. I was yelling and screaming (not my finest moment or one I am proud of), but it was because I was tired of hiding my hurt and exhaustion any longer. I was tired of hiding behind my mask that says it is okay you hurt me again. Unfortunately, I crushed my sweet daughter in my rant because it started with her and I arguing with each other over my not willing to go to Washington DC for Veteran’s Day, but that was not even what had me upset. I was upset with her dad and his stubbornness to see these changes were important to me and that I needed this for me to find my happy place again. She didn’t know this. She only saw my emotions boiling out of control to the point they erupted like an out of control volcano.

I told you this to share my deepest and real feelings which I hide from behind my mask, the mask that says I have it all together when in full disclosure, I have nothing together. As my husband told me the other night in my fit of anger and yes rage at one point, I have become psychotic and I need help. This is only his perspective. I, however, stand on the truth of my own emotions. Unstable is the least of my problems. I am however over-worked, over-burdened from carrying the load for both of us for so long. I am exhausted both mentally and physically and depressed for the lifestyle we are living in now and will continue to live for him to be happy here. What he does not realize, understand or see, is that if I was as unstable as he believes me to be, I could not continue to carry the unbearably heavy load I carry to ensure he has a happy life while he struggles with the burdens of dealing with his own PTSD.

I am not sure how it has happened but since 2012 I have tap danced around my husband’s war triggered PTSD and anger. I have walked on cartons worth of eggshells to keep him happy. We stopped doing things we enjoyed as a family. We stopped attending events that were crowded because that was an anxiety trigger for him. Now both my Kiddo and I have found (as of this weekend that crowds make us both nervous and uncomfortable). I knew change upsets him so I make few “big” changes so he will not get upset, but my friends as I have found years later, giving in to all of this is not healthy for you as an individual. Your attempt to help them all the time is actually enabling what will become bad behavior and behavior that can, in turn, cost you everything. Everything meaning your happiness, your identity, and your life. 

Be careful how much of you, you give away to others. I have done some serious soul-searching over the past couple of days as I was on a personal quest to make changes within myself to find “me” to be truly happy again. Now I find myself at a crossroads because if my husband hates change to the point of me writing my deepest and rawest heart out here, then I have a much bigger problem of making changes within my own heart. He is not going to like the personal changes I make within myself because he will feel the effects of some of those changes.

So this is the question I am left with … do I continue my journey of self-discovery at the cost of everything, that meaning my marriage of almost 25 years and my family? How much is my need for change worth to me?  

Please forgive me as this post is deeply personal and I am writing from my rawest moment this morning. I am at this moment of pondering this simple quote written by Rachel Marie Martin in her book, The Brave Art of Motherhood,

“Be brave,” says my spirit. 

“Wait,” says fear.

“Have courage,” says my soul. 

“Not yet,” says worry.

“Dare,” says my heart. 

– Rachel Marie Martin 

The Brave Art of Motherhood

Where does this journey take me? Where does God want me to be in five years? How do I regain stability in my life again? All of these are questions I have and still need answers to. As I continue to find my way in life, I will continue to write about them as it is my deepest desire that if my heartache can help someone else to know they are not battling their own battles alone, then all of this pain will be worth it in the end.

 

 

 

Anxiety, Burn out, Challenge, Courage, Encouragement Today, Exhausted, Focus, Goals, Journey, Life, Motivation, Strength, Weariness

Be Proud of Your Toughest Accomplishments

Encouragement Today

23479DD6-115B-4B38-B85D-B1C468C91251Today’s Encouragement is to inspire you to remember,

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.“  Edmund Hillary

Have you ever had to finish a task that made you worn out, frustrated and purely exhausted?

Have you ever experienced what it is like to cram for a big project at work or study for a big exam in school? You knew there was an important deadline staring at you, but the level of pure exhaustion and frustration was wearing you down? You knew deep down inside, you could not work for one more hour, but that was not an option because the deadline had to be met.

Have you ever ran thru an obstacle course and before you got to the end, your body was so exhausted and worn out, it wanted to shut down and stop, but to quit was not an option. You had a fierce determination to finish the race no matter how long it was.

Lastly, have you ever made a long drive and you were mentally and physically exhausted, but you still had another hour or two before you got there? As you looked at the clock and drove by the mileage signs you knew you could not drive one more hour or one more mile, but stopping was not an option. You had to push forward and stay awake in order to arrive at your final destination.

YOUTRU~1The commonality among all of these scenarios is that no matter how tired, beat down or physically exhausted you were, you did not give in to the temptation to quit. You pushed through the exhaustion and climbed over the mental barrier and persevered to the end. You did not let the mental and physical obstacles get in the way of completing your task. You trusted in your ability and determination to conquer the fears you faced, the mental exhaustion that had you worn out and the physical pain you experienced to pursue your goals to the end.

You are stronger mentally and physically than you ever knew. You are courageous to pursue the obstacle and see it to the end. You are wiser for the battles you fought and won, and you are braver than any obstacle or mountain that tried to stand in your way. You are a fierce warrior who stood strong and tall and conquered what you set out to do.

Way to go, my faithful warrior and friend!!

Stand tall and proud for what you have accomplished.

 

Anxiety, Burn out, Discouraged, Encouragement Today, Exhausted, Journey, Life, Weariness

Fallacies Do Not Equate To Truth

design-45Encouragement Today

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Are you feeling like no one understands why you are frustrated?

Are you feeling lost even within your family?

Are you feeling invisible?

Are you struggling with being misunderstood?

Are your emotions misunderstood?

Are you constantly working, while others see you struggle, but offers no help?

My friend, these feelings of hurt and frustration are real. There are valid and legitimate reasons, circumstances, and events that have occurred in your life leading to these feelings.

Unfortunately, the feelings may feel real, but it is important to identify what is true and what are the lies we tell ourselves. 

I know when I am frustrated and I say things out of that frustration, and my daughter quickly reminds me, this is what I am telling myself, but those thoughts are not real.

We can easily fall into the trap of constant disappointment and hurt and as a result, the enemy is in our heads feeding us these lies about ourselves.

  • He tells us we are a failure.
  • He tells us we are not important.
  • He shows us all of our negative emotions and how out of control we are.
  • He tells us we are irresponsible.
  • He tells us how unloving we are.
  • He tells us how ugly we are.
  • He tells us how bad we are at being daughters and sons, wives and husbands, moms and dads.

My friend, he shouts these lies loudly so we can not miss them.

What we need to do is shut him down and for everything you hear, shout back and say, No…

  • I am not a failure, I AM SUCCESSFUL in x, y, z.
  • I am not out of control. I AM IMPORTANT.
  • I am not irresponsible, I AM RESPONSIBLE.
  • MY FEELINGS ARE REAL and valid, but I will not let them run me.
  • I am not unloving, I HAVE PLENTY OF LOVE to share with others.
  • I am not ugly, I AM BEAUTIFUL or HANDSOME.
  • I am not a bad parent, daughter or son, or wife or husband, I AM the Best I know how to be.

My friend, take the time to evaluate where the truth is in with what you are experiencing. By knowing what the truth is, you will be able to see the lies in what you believe. The enemy’s objective is to tear you down and destroy you physically and emotionally so you do not fight back. Resist these lies and fight back standing on your truth and principle. 

“Hold your head up high and fight back against what is not true. Just because you feel it, does not make it is real.”

Remember this fact and truth… you are worth fighting for. You are strong enough to fight back against the lies you tell yourself and the lies the enemy tells you.

You are… enough!! See the truth and believe it!!!!!!

 

 

Anxiety, Bondage, Burn out, Challenge, encouragement, Encouragement Today, Exhausted, Goals, Hope, Journey, Life, Motivation, Strength, Stress, Weariness

Do Not Allow Stress To Consume You, Regain It By Planning

Encouragement Today

design-42

Today’s Encouragement is to remind you to let go of the pressures you are carrying and allow yourself to just live with the freedom God intended for us to live.

He never intended for us to be held captive by society’s standards, our busyness, or by our own sense of perfectionism.

Today’s Encouragement is for you to step away from things that harbor stress in your life, thus allowing yourself to have a sense of peace, and not anxiety, about the things you have to do. If there is something stressful you do not have to do, then do not do it today. Put that activity on your planner for tomorrow, this way it gets done, but do not allow it to rob you of your peace today.

Your personal challenge is to look at your planner (if you use one) and look at the week to come. Identify what needs to be done and what can be moved to another day or week, because this will allow you the ability to decompress from the stress you harbor daily.

If you are a busy parent who works all day at a stressful job and you leave work to run your kids to multiple activities nightly, please know it is okay and healthy to tell your children the word no. Your child does not need to run every night of the week from activity to activity. If they wish to live that life, they can do so when they are older and able to run themselves. It is also okay as a parent, to have your children make choices in their activities. Limit them to how many activities they are doing in a season or how many they are attending in a week. Even as adults we need to do this. Life is not about how busy we make ourselves, it is about living life while enjoying it.

Parents, do not get me wrong, I totally believe extra-curricular activities are important for children, but more so for the older ones than the younger ones. The younger ones need more stability and routine in their lives besides constantly running from the time they get up to the time they go to bed.

I believe the little ones need a nightly routine of going home from school or daycare, having supper, doing their homework if they are school age, some play time with their own toys, and a relaxing quiet time routine as well. The quiet time could include a bath, story time, mommy and daddy snuggle time and a routine bedtime. Their bodies need to know what time it is and they only form this through a structured life.

To my single followers who do not have a family or children, it is still important for you to have a structure and routine in your life. This will allow you to regain control over your life and bring the stability and peace back in it as well. If you do not have a planner, consider purchasing one. Your life will become more stable if you better plan your daily activities.

If you are a college student and the pressures of work, classes, and life are getting ahead of you, break out your planner and gain control over it again. Put your work schedule into your planner. Do not fall into the trap of knowing it is something you do every day. You need a visual accountability of your time and by putting your work schedule and all of your extra activities, such as get-togethers, church activities, whatever you have to do, into your planner, you will free your mind of everything you are trying to remember.  Lastly, add your class schedule, homework, and project deadlines to this as well. The ability to visually see everything on your planner will help you to free up stress from your life because you are no longer trying to remember everything your planner will show you.

An important key to successfully de-stressing your life is living a life that is structured, slower, and well planned. Living a life that is unplanned and on the spur of the moment only allows the stress to creep in and run it for you.

My friend, one of my goals I have planned for myself is something I have always wanted to do and that is to create a planner that assists in planning your life. Store bought planners are wonderful and have met my needs for many years, but I find they do not always meet the needs I have. I have always wanted to create pretty, but useful planners for myself as well as others. When I am able to do this, I will be sure to make it available to you as well.

If you have any ideas that you would find useful in a planner, please be sure to leave a comment below and I will incorporate those ideas into my plan as well. My objective is to meet the planning needs of everyone. I have experienced the life of a sick child and how a planner for that would be helpful. I have experienced the needs of a homeschooler and a busy wife and mom. Now I am finding with a sick family a different planner to keep up with them would be helpful. How about you? What do you experience in life and struggle to find planners to meet your needs?

Lastly, remember… Do not allow stress to consume your life, take control over it by better planning.

Burn out, Challenge, Comfort, Discouraged, Encouragement Today, Exhausted, Focus, Healthy, Journey, Life, Motivation, Strength, Weariness

Do Not Forget “You” While Encouraging Others

 

design-37Encouragement Today

Today is to encourage those who love and support your chronically ill family and friends.

Do you have a loved one or a dear friend who is struggling with the physical effects of a chronic illness or pain?

Do you watch them while you find yourself struggling with experiencing the frustration of not being able to help?

Do you struggle with wanting to cry because of the constant pain they are in?

Does the darkness of the day, your pillow or your shower know the hidden tears you have shed?

Have you run out of encouraging words to share because everything you say is found to be redundant?

Do you know the pain and frustration of letting others down when your plans change because your loved one is not well or strong enough to go?

Have you lost friends because they do not understand the loyalty you have to your sick loved one?

How many times have you sat in a hospital emergency room or doctor appointment and you feel alone while you hold the hand of your sick family or friend?

My friend, please know you are not alone. There are many people who know the pain of loving and supporting a chronically ill loved one.

It is important to remember, it is healthy to reach out to those family and friends who will lift “you” up in prayer.

I have included a list of specific prayers you can ask your friends to pray for you.

    Request prayer for God to hold you in His loving arms while you hold your sick loved one in yours.
    Ask them to pray for the loving words of encouragement, strength, and comfort you can share with your loved one while supporting and encouraging them.
    Ask for the wisdom you need in order to ask the difficult questions that they will not think to ask for themselves.
    Lastly, ask for the strength to fight for the care for your loved one if the doctor is a difficult and unsympathetic one.

It is important to know, it is not selfish to ask for emotional and physical help for yourself while you take care of your loved one. It is important to do this because you can not serve, encourage, or support others from an empty vessel.

This is a tough, long, and difficult journey you are on if your loved one has an ongoing health crisis or is experiencing regular chronic pain. This situation is not going away after a week or ten days. It is one which continues on for weeks, months, and years ahead,

You will not have the physical stamina, no matter how hard you try, to sustain this without the physical and emotional support of others who love you. You need them and their prayers to keep moving forward and pushing past the exhaustion you feel on a regular basis.

My friend, please do not be afraid to lean on your circle of friends or your encouraging groups to seek this help for yourself. When you do, you will experience a spiritual renewal and refreshment that is needed for your spirit and soul. This refreshment and renewal will enable you to keep going as you continue to travel this journey with your loved one.

Remember this… you are important and you are… enough! Do not forget to take care of “you” while you take care of your loved one.