Journey, Migraine

Exhausted While Trying to Breathe

Journaling Journey

Entry 2

woman working girl sitting
Are you frazzled and exhausted? You are not alone.

Today has come to a close and I am so happy to announce Kiddo is feeling okay. She is struggling with her sinuses, whether this is an allergy problem, a sinus infection, or a cold, at this point, it is anyone’s guess, but she was able to keep her migraine at bay despite what is going on with her head now.

This afternoon was the first sign of hope this set of nerve block shots might work. I am beyond thankful she was able to get through the day without the need for her migraine rescue medicines. If we can break the need for those, I will feel she is truly making progress.

This particular journey has been taxing on my ability to manage, clean, and keep my home in order for the countless doctor appointments we have in a week. Our “normal” week consists of anywhere between 2-5 appointments in a week. If Kiddo is lucky enough to not have an appointment, my husband will usually fill in the free days with his own appointments.

This crazy schedule has been going on for several months now, which I feel is the longest this cycle has lasted, but it might be because this summer, my dog needed surgery on is paw to remove a possible cancerous growth, my husband went down shortly after that with intestinal problems and then a back problem and Kiddo has been struggling with this crazy migraine cycle for several months now.

I am finally beginning to feel like I can catch my breath, despite my daughter’s difficult journey. I always say I can do one or the other, but when my husband and my daughter get sick and go down together, it becomes more than I can manage alone. This is when I start taking things off my plate and worrying about them when I can come back later. I do not like this, but it becomes a matter of survival.

This week our schedule has been fairly open, despite Kiddo’s unexpected Neurology appointment. With this open schedule, I have been able to take full advantage of being home and plugging away at trying to catch up on some much-needed chores.

Because I was able to do this, I am feeling accomplished tonight. The week is coming to a close and my home is back in order. I have a huge weight lifted off me knowing when our home is in order, it minimizes the chaos that a disordered home creates.

Last Sunday I seriously struggled with frustration and exhaustion and felt helpless while I looked at how dirty my house was and how long it would take to get it back in order. When I got up Monday morning and my precious daughter was in so much pain and agony, God placed it on my heart to pull together the gumption I needed to to tackle my out of control chore list. I kept thinking I need to get my house in order so if Kiddo ends up in the hospital, I can give her my undivided attention without the added stress of my home being out of control. Because of this thought process, I was able to just keep going from chore to chore and started getting this huge job back under control.

It is with a lighter heart I am able to freely give into being exhausted and look at going to bed at a decent hour tonight. I feel like with everyday, post shots, it is looking more promising she will not need to be go into the hospital next week. This is my hope and desire at least. We will not know for sure until we get through the weekend and see what this holds for her.

For now, I just keep praying and living moment by moment.

With that being said, I am going to finish here and head off to bed.

To my tired and frazzled moms who are finding themselves in the same level of exhaustion, please know it is okay to step away and “just breathe”. You need to, it is the only way you can stay the course when you find yourself on a long journey like what we are on.

4 thoughts on “Exhausted While Trying to Breathe”

    1. I am trying. I think my being able to safely write about my deepest and darkest thoughts instead of harboring them will help to release them. I hope you have a restful and relaxing weekend. 💜

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