Journal Journey, Journey, Life, Migraine

Sunshine Among The Dark Clouds

Journaling Journey

Entry 1

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Today we started the day out at the allergy office and Kiddo received her allergy shots for another week. I am not sure what they did this time, but it appears this set of shots is going to bruise.

Today I asked her how she felt and received a generic response back, but later she came to me with a “real” update, thankfully. I am happy to announce (prior to her going to work) she said her migraine had gone away for the moment and although her head still hurts physically from all the knots throughout her head and neck, she is able to keep this pain maintained. As long as she does not come home from work with a migraine, I am going to hold out hope this set of nerve block shots may actually work.

With her complicated medical issues, there is always a give and take with pain though. As she told me her update, she did allow she is keeping a migraine at bay but is also fearful she has another sinus infection. She is feeling poorly and has been concerned for several days this could be the onset of another infection.

I just put my hand to my head and say, “Why wouldn’t she have one, she is overdue for it because she has gone a month without one.” So now we hold our breath as she fights through the sinus pain and pressure of another possible sinus infection.

I have to share this story she told me about a conversation she had with God. It goes like this,  “Okay Dude, what the heck is going on? Why do I have to battle these battles? So you take my migraine away and let me have a break from that crazy pain, but yet You give me this sinus pressure and pain as well as a possible infection? What the heck am I doing wrong? Why do you keep doing this to me?”

Please do not get me wrong, I have not taught her to be disrespectful to God, but I love the way she is comfortable to talk to Him in such an intimate way because she isn’t afraid of Him. She goes to Him with all her needs, pains, desires, and questions which rarely are answered. I also love her complete honesty in sharing these emotions and conversations she has with me.

Her words show how frustrated she gets over this pain and how real and raw her feelings are. It breaks my heart to see her struggle while she watches other college kids her age living their lives with minimal concerns. We hold out hope one day, she will reclaim her life from all of this pain and agony, but until then we just struggle through day by day and minute by minute.

I pray while she is at work, God is protecting her fragile head and allows her to be a migraine free and if He could add a headache free afternoon, this would be equally as wonderful. I know this would make her happy and appreciative.

These are my random thoughts for today. I hold my breath and wait while we live minute by minute for the next few days.

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